why i refuse to ‘be’ something
The most difficult thing I have ever done in life is deciding to be something. I don’t mean the decision to just be something. I mean to really, really be something. I’m talking about the jump headfirst, into unknown dark waters, don’t stop until you sink or swim, type of ‘something.’ The something that allows you to say: “fuck it, I’m living for my passion and purpose.”
No one told me that this world was set up for cookie cutter lifestyles and monotonous, drone people. Sure, we all know that the most successful people in this world suffered, I mean truly went through some real, deal shit. But that’s their lives, and you’re living your life, right? You’re not trying to hear about the multi-millionaire that once ate his pants size down on cup of noodles, dry bread with a side of ketchup packets, while swishing it all down with water from an unfiltered fountain that sat in the corner of the library. For one, the entire scenario sounds far-fetched and ripped from a film script. Maybe, it’s the frustration that makes you twist up the corners of your mouth, and narrow your eyes like some bug-eyed cartoon, when you hear it. Or maybe it’s because you’ve become so cynical, you just don’t believe that it’s cupcakes and five-dollar lattes compared to your world.
In any event, deciding to be something comes with an entire set of problems. Issues that you didn’t imagine would exist, back when you were in high school studying your eyes out for the SAT’s and imaging what dorm life would be like away from your spying ass parents.
It took me years to realize that the term for what I am is multi-passionate. I always felt that I had to choose one thing over another, but it was difficult because I’m passionate about lots of things. Years ago, I stumbled upon Margaret Lobenstein’s, The Renaissance Soul: How to Make Your Passions Your Life―A Creative and Practical Guide inside of a Barnes & Noble bookstore. Once I read her book, I finally felt that I was not alone— there are others who wrestled with having more than one passion and felt stuck into choosing one career path or journey.
Even now, it’s tough not to get the headlight deer eye when someone asks me the infamous question: “So, umm what exactly you do?” I proudly declare myself multi-passionate and usually is amazed at how open the conversation becomes around personal passions and careers
It's not always easy to not “be” something, but the inner peace and growth is priceless.
